Den of the Cyphered Wolf

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Princesses Who Kick Ass

Alright The Escapist just put out it's editorial, The Princess Problem. Video games are motivationally driven. You need a goal, and save the princess is often the go to goal for the player, even if the princess is a flat and, all hell boring character. I agree, but I like royals in my fiction. Nothing says epic like a royal or "not exactly human" other.

Royals are connected to epic struggles that can forever change the course of human history. If you're in charge making the battle plans i.e. the King or the Queen then you're golden. And everybody has heard of stories where princes do daring do, but what about stories where princesses kick ass.

Here are my top 11 princesses who kick ass.
First. The Rules.
1. They have to be princesses at the time they at least start to kick ass. No queens.
2. Their kickassiness has to be at least somewhat violent. No administrators on this list. They need to have found evil, (or in one case good) and tried to destroy it.

11. Sorcha
Daughter of the Forest

Alright this one is debatable. Sorcha actually does find herself in crap tons of situations where she needs to be rescued, but. And this is a big but. It's her damn story. She's the hero and being the hero costs her a lot. She's not just the magic button used to send the hero on his quest. She doesn't want to put herself in danger. She wants to just go home but she canit because she's trying to do the rescuing. This is a retelling of an old, I mean before there was an America old, tale. And in the old tales there are rules. You can't just go stabbing magic with mundane weaponry. It doesn't work like that. Read the book. Sorcha is possibly more genre savvy than Mercy. She knows how the old tales run.

10. Kalix
Lonely Werewolf Girl

She would be the apparent head of the MacRinnalach werewolf clan, if she weren't' a chaotic neutral drug addict. Nobody is crazy enough to support her claim. She should be running things because for werewolves the strongest is in charge and she took out her old man, but last I checked, I'm only part way through he second book, not being in charge was fine by her.

9. Eowyn
Lord of the Rings, Movies

She's way down on the list of supporting characters. I'll admit it. Eowyn is here for one moment. One gloriously bad-ass moment. She killed a friggin' dragon. AAAAAnd the evil damn near immortal ringwraith that was riding it, and we're not talking any ringwraith here. We're talking the Witch King. She totally kicked his ass which is why she makes the list.

8. Shoukei
12 Kingdoms

First off. Shame. Shame, if you're an anime fan and you haven't seen this show. Shaaaaaame. Now that that's out of the way. Character development is pretty much the point of everything in the show. See Shoukei, was a princess, buuut there was a coup. The coup happened for good reason. 100,000 executions by the king's administration good reason. For the first half of her arc Shoukei's a whinny brat going on and on how it wasn't fair that the people cheered at her father's death and that she should still have the wealth and status she did as a princess. Then she sees how unfair the world can really be and how unfair it was under her father and for justice's sake takes part in a rebellion against another ax friendly tyrant.

7. Cagalli Yula
Mobile Suit Gundam Seed

Is she a supporting character? Yes but she isn't afraid to call the two heroes on their bullshit. She isn't going to let the two kill just each other on the battlefield.

6. Katrina

We all know singing bird chick from sleeping beauty. But this aint the Disney version. Ivan is no prince charming. Katrina takes one look at him and says something to the effect of, "Uh no. Just no." And it's not just standard princessy snobbishness either. Ivan, being from modern times well 1995ish, is ill equipped to be in a fairy tale. He's not a soldier, a mage, or a farmer. Heck even as a scribe he barely knows the language. As a result Katrina has to pick up the slack. Come the final battle with the witch, it's not prince charming doing the rescuing and leading the charge, it's the princess.

5. Kahlen Amnell
Sword of Truth Books

Okay I'm cheating a bit. Kahlen is technically a princess. She's the daughter of the king and when shit happens she does serve as queen, but for the majority of the series her other title, being more impressive than being a princess, makes her princess-hood moot. She spends the series kicking all kinds of ass, leading armies and just being a general bad ass, literally, when her writer hasn't drunken the kool-aid of crazy, and sometimes even then.

Let me focus on the first 3 books here. Or even better just the second. She's away from the her beau, and they both have their own sets problems. Problems that deal with swords, and the sticking the pointy end of said swords into evil.

4. Kida
Atlantis: Lost Empire

Atlantis was one hell of a Disney movie... that nobody remembers. Well at least it's not The Black Cauldron. High on crystal juice Kida stops a goddamn volcanic eruption. That's kickass. Anything involving volcanic eruptions is guaranteed epic. Even if you have crappy animators, which this by the way didn't, a volcanic eruption is going to be epic.

3. Azula
Avatar: The Last Airbender

Avatar: The Last Airbender
Tags: Avatar Episodes,Avatar,Avatar Games

Okay she's evil, but she is still a princess who in about the span of a week captured the enemy capital. And she shoots lightning from he fingertips. I don't mean a little like a Sith lord. I mean full on bolt of Zeus' lightning. She also almost killed the namesake of the series. I'm not talking the way most villains almost kill the hero. I mean he was actually dead there for a second.

2. Kaede
Tales of the Otori

I can't list every badass thing Kaede does through out the series, so I'm only going to talk about how the first book ends.

The villain has her locked in a castle where he can and will rape her. Now, while she knows the male protagonist and there is some chemistry there, he's headed to the castle for a totally different reason and doesn't even know she's there. Now while he's off trying to get vengeance, it's actually Kaede who does the villain in.

1. Leia Organa
Star Wars

Look she's contractually obligated to be on this list.

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