Den of the Cyphered Wolf

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Doctor Who River Song Fix Fic Ideas

As new Who comes along I have to deal with an elephant in my TV Room. I hated "The Wedding of River Song", last season's finale. I hated it largely because it changed the dynamic between River and The Doctor that I loved.

Most of The Doctor's personal relationships in New Who are defined by the fact that he has more knowledge in his head than just about anyone around him. As a result when he says to do stuff his companions just stare, nod and do it. Heck even Donna to a degree was like that.

Not River, because she comes from his personal future and is a quasi-timelord adventurer not unlike himself. She is an equal to him and on occasion even more than his equal. She doesn't just argue with him; she debates with him. She knows most of what he knows and on top of that has knowledge of where he's headed.

But the wedding spent most of its climax having him lecture her about blowing a hole in the universe and having her look sad about it. That's not the River I know and love, the River who takes none of The Doctor's crap and shoots Daleks while dealing with the universe going caploee.

After much thought I have my own ideas on what I would have done for the finale

The Arc of River
First of let's be honest. The entire season was building up to some big story surrounding River. The finale has to be that. My idea is basically to explain and deal with the consequences of a being living her life out of order and interacting with "The Lord of Time"

River Rules: Quantum River

The crux of my episode deals with explaining and dealing with what River is, "the quantum child." Very few Doctor Who characters interact with the doctor out of chronological order. (Well there' s Sally Sparrow. Shut it!) Even Jack's interactions with him are synched ... at least from the perspective of the audience. That's partially what made River so interesting, and it it's what can blast a whole in the universe for a kick ass finale.

This is going to take a while to rap your brain around. River's identity is only what is currently observed; nothing more and nothing less. We see her from different points in her timeline, but due to her weird nature her timeline is in flux. None of what we've seen of River in any episode other than the one we are presently viewing is certain to have happened or certainly will happen because of her nature. We the audience assume baby Melody will grow into River but it's not a given. We also assume that Ten uploads her to the library. But that hasn't happened yet from her perspective either. We the audience can't assume anything about her back-story or forward-story because from a "non linear, nonsubjective perspective" all are happening and not happening at the same time. As such the only thing we can take for granted about any version of River is... well that version of River.

Okay think Back to the Future. Remember all the different versions of Biff. Yeah well River's got an infinite number of those running around. The only thing holding the universe around her together is that she hasn't directly interacted with any of them. Oh wait? Didn't she shoot at her younger self. What's to say she didn't get a lucky shot. River's existence is causing the universe to collapse in on itself. The plot is basically that the Doctor has to find some way to codify and fix her timeline. And in doing so maybe he cannot bite the big one.

Versions of River
Okay to keep the episode straight lets get all the versions of River lined up
  • Baby Melody- Awe
  • Kid/Impossible Astronaut River
  • Mels - What can I say? I thought her actress had great energy. I just wanted to see her again at least on the screen in my head.
  • Assassin River - Yeah the brainwashing took.
  • Stormcage River
  • Grad School River
  • Primetime River - This is just a stand in for all the Rivers we see in her timeline between "Time of Angels" and "Forests of the Dead". River as we the audience expect her.
  • CalRiver - Stuck in the wi-fi of the Library.
  • Madam Kovarian - I keep getting the feeling that's where the writers were headed but too many people guessed it.
Well that's River. And her existence breaks the time travel foreknowledge paradox rules of Who.
What's holding the universe together and keeping it from exploding is that none of these different versions of River directly physically interact with one another.

The Plot
After spending an untold amount of time "stuck in the wi-fi" of the library. CalRiver sends a message to the then drifting Doctor. They find some way to communicate (holograms, the flesh, haven't decided yet.) And she tells him she's figured out her quantum status and she tells him he has to go to Utah. We've all seen this part so yeah. The Doctor does die, but River's gun shots blast a whole in space and time that needs to be fixed. Timmey wimmy.

Madam Kovarian wanted to destroy the universe to get revenge on the doctor (it was a real bad break up and I can think of no worse way to hurt him than have someone he cares about betray him so completely) and going back in time and putting herself in a position to kill ...herself was it.

But here is the kick she is only one possibility of River as is CalRiver. Think Return of Ben 10,000.

P.S. It also explains the Pandorica Tardis explosion.

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