Den of the Cyphered Wolf

Thursday, January 22, 2015

I Suck At Tipping


Since for reasons my brain is a little hurty right now how about something light.


So I came across this article from Inc. magazine about how undertipping makes you a jerk and I think it's a little harsh. Partially because I generally under-tip. So for the hell of it I am going to go through my mental algorithm for how I determine tips. A lot of this is going to overlap with Hank Green's Tipping video.

So first off realize that math and food time don't mix for me so I have a set of complicated rules for how I tip that should probably be revised.

So the main reason why I under-tip is that I tend to order the same thing over and over to increase service speed and ...because I'm a boring son of a gun. Grilled cheese on white Sam. I know what I want to order the waiters know what I want to order. It saves time. But I really do need to recalculate tips.

$2 for A Sit Down Restaurant
I don't generally eat with people. So yeah I ripping off Hank's $2 per person minimum.  Mostly this is how I do it at a sit down restaurant where my meal costs about $10-15. Since I generally don't go to fancy restaurants this is it.  And because this is it I realize that I sometimes under-tip. I don't take into account that extra orange juice that pushes me over. I should I don't.

$3 for Delivery
There is only one food I really get delivered. Pizza. And while I tend to order the same thing the price of it goes up and down based all manner of factors mostly sales I don't pay attention to so I have no way of predicting it. $20-30. If It's 20 I'm on the nose, but if the pizza is closer to 30 and I don't take that into account I've just under-tipped. 

Speed
Not really a rule but a factor. I am really really trying to get off cash, go paperless and use debit cards so instead of giving tips at tables I tend to do it at the counter or on the phone. When the guy asks me I'm not going to do the math I'm just going say what feels about right, about $2 for every $10 give or take depending on my mood.  

You know what? From now on everybody gets an extra buck. Until the price of bread goes up.  

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