Its in these hazy morning moments
That cardinal desire sets in.
I want to feel flesh against flesh
Not for lust but to know someone intimately
No, not even that. I want someone to know me intimately
For in the morning, in the bright orange lights people think differently
I think differently.
There are times when I think I am most me.
Only for fleeting moments am I truth
before the world sets in
Before I put on my costume for the day and go of with the yes sirs and I’m on its
I need a partner
Someone to share that with
Someone who can be themselves in front of me
And then I remember I don’t believe in love
That I’ve long ago given up hope of its existence
Everybody wears masks
And everybody myself included is too afraid to let their guard down
long enough to find that person
I’m too afraid to find that person
A person I trust with my soul
A person I trust to guard my true self
I don’t know if my true self is even worthy of that type of love.